if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
