roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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