I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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