last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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