I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
