my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
