I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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