True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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