actually, I'm a sock model
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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