yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
