did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
