dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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