This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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