oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You must be Logged in to post a comment
^ takes things wayyyy too seriously^
Yeah, my penis is way tanner than the rest of me. Weird and awesome. Always makes the girl say "Wow, you got the best part of a black person." :D
1:41(1) I'll dip mine in Mt. Dew all you want! Marry me. Gamer chick. Omgplx.
Finally. This is the most legit text I have read on this shitty site ever.
P.S. why is your dick black? It looks like the thing from Dune.
2:08 --> only because no man would ever give you one
2:11 --> you suck at living
4:25 --> marry me
2:19 here. No, I'm not a man. I'm just a chick who enjoys fellating deserving men.
Diamond encrusted cocks sound painful. Not to mention, I despise diamonds (yes, I know that's odd for a woman to say). Also, I'd prefer my man's apparatus to taste like coffee.
There's probably just more melatonin in that area or something. Everyone's privates are darker than the rest of them.
THIS IS SO TRUE! my dick is tan!
I sprinkle glitter on my penis. does that count?
i actually notice this too.
hooray you've reached a stage 4 (at least) on the tanner scale of development
ive seen this before... idk where though...
4:11 FTW...gotta love the nerdery.
I have always wondered this. Well this and why someone's butt hole is darker than the rest of the person even though it gets the least amount of sun action. It throws me off watching a porn sometimes, especially if the color is way darker. Makes me think its a shit stain...lol
....where do I get one of these more evolved penii?
mens dicks just need to look and taste exactly how we want them to. they don't get a say in this shit.
I really dont care about the diamonds, but if you can get em to taste like chocolate, i'm gonna have a new addiction!
2:08, I'm with you! I'm not a big chocolate fan. It needs to taste like a vanilla latte or something. Not all girls like chocolate, guys.
The diamond thing is weird to me. How do you expect to get a blowjob when you have diamonds all over your dick? The diamonds will cut my mouth. Do you want a bloody blowjob?
Maybe I'm too much of a gamer, but I want my guy's to taste like Mt. Dew. That would be fantastic.
dude! i was talking to my friend about this the other day.
we both are like that too.
hopefully it will start tasting like chocolate...
coffee flavored penii would be the best thing ever.
Um, yeah. don't be so proud.
It's a harmless bacteria that lives in the soft skin, most often seen on eyelids, genitals, anus and armpits. Only real effect is the darkening and slight odor, but conceptually it's gross.
Man, that'd be awesome. I'd give blow jobs all the time if it tasted like chocolate...plus us girls would stay skinny....it's a win win situation if you ask me.
and hopefully women will lose their voice boxes...but once again we can only hope
if they tasted like chocolate fat women would try to eat them, and then guys wouldn't want to have fat women as partners, and the lazy fat genes would be washed out of the gene pool! awesome
its tan because you masturbate...lol...I thought that was common knowledge
Wow mine too. Although I never really thought about it before. I assumed its cause im always slapping the Sasuage.
Haha isn't everybodys dick tan??idk but mines crazy dark haha
LOL @ diamond twilight referece
chocolate, vanilla, mt dew I don't care what it tasts like I like to suck cock. :p
mine is like this too, and ye its a little weird
fucking unknown error bullshit!
I'd actually give head if it tasted like chocolate.
And this is how you know God is a man. If God were a woman dicks, and cum, would taste like chocolate. Or whatever we want it to taste like at the moment.
But diamond encrusted? While I'm it'd be beautiful...ouch. That would cause a decrease in blow jobs.
Haha, love the response. Impractical, perhaps, but still hilarious.
1:52 i will rub a hershey bar all over my cock, all the flavor none of the calories
I have the same condition, it baffles me because i cannot tan anywhwere else, just burn
YEAH my dick is tan too
we should start a Tan Dicks Club
2:19 is probably a man :p
Evolutionarily, this would be impossible, as adaptations made through evolution are those that allow a species to easier survive and reproduce. Assuming that a chocolate-diamond-dick were possible, it would decrease reproduction, as oral sex would become more common, rather than traditional intercourse. If these changes were to come about through a random mutation, it is unlikely that the change would sustain for long enough to become viable in the population.
if your penis tasted like chocolate I'd definitely deep throat it... twice... every day!
girls like 2:19 are desperately seeking male attention.
god that would be amazing!!! not only would sucking dick whiten your teeth it would taste good too
6:38, 11:16, 11:32 - mostly it is hormonal and perfectly normal, but there are lots of other potential causes, std, early sign of diabetes, bacteria, the list goes on. If it's musky instead of smelling like your usual sweat 6:38 may be right. Try an AntiBac soap for a few weeks.
2:19 here. First, I am a woman, not a girl. Second, I don't need to "seek male attention" because I've been dating one man for the last 5 years, and we are engaged to be married.
6:38, seriously? I don't know whether to believe you or think you're full of shit...
2:08 for a minute there your comment mirrored my thoughts and I was like did I\nAlready post here then I realized I'm not anonymous. I fully agree with everything you stated.
As I feel I can speak for most women, we can only hope that happens for male evolution haha
12:23, thanks for sharing.
wait if it's a bacteria, can you lighten it by washing more often? i have dark armpits i hate it, looks like i have razor burn or like i didnt shave
This isn't twilight chocolate tasting diamond studded penis's don't exist, and I don't see evolution leading us down that road sadly...things would certainly be easier
DUDE! ME TOO!!! ... weird, right??? My ex actually named it "Mocha", cuz it's big and brown, and I'm big and white.
11:52, where did you learn that from? I assumed everyone was just naturally a little darker there. I smell just fine and so does my boyfriend, but we are just darker in that region... I'm also South Asian so maybe it's just my skin color, but my bf is white. Not saying you're wrong, but i have never heard that before.
1:28, i know people who will say anythign...and i mean anything, no matter who is around them
Diamond studded penii aside, 253 represent! Funny things is, I may know you.
who. the hell. talks about this kind of stuff
It's called usage stain....look at your women - happens to them too!
1:28, apparently 253 does
1:53 - don't wash it too much. I'm not the person who said its bacteria, but washing any area of your body too much washes away your natural oils and defenses, which can cause other problems. I have a fungus on my skin because I washed that area of my skin too much. I have had several yeast infections because i clean my vag too much. So watch how much you clean :)
hahaha that would be AWSOMEBALLERDELICIOUS.
lmao my dick is tan to but super pale funny how that works i agree with tanned penis club
2:48 don't be such a prick. nobody likes a racist.
dude same with my penis....its so weird only i pull it out is to put it in or pee. either way not much contact with light....but its twice as tan as me....
chocolate tasting dicks sound really creepy and diamonds on them? meh..head can be unpleasant enough sometimes without diamonds cutting my mouth up thanks.
I give head because cock is tasty. More women need to loosen up and learn to be good, thorough lovers.
1:03 Lol. You wouldn't happen to be venezualan would you?
Venezuelan dicks taste like chocolate. No joke. Do the fieldwork.
Bacteria? shut the fuck up. Go watch some porn, peeping tom some dudes in the shower, everybody's dick is darker than the rest of them unless they're tan all over.
Admittedly, I've only really looked at my own dick and the hours and hours of porn, but I can't recall ever seeing a single pale cock.
it's because the concentration of melanin is higher there, not bacteria
why are our dicks tan? i never understood that at all...its like no matter how white and pasty i get, my dick looks like its been laying out i fuckin jamaica for a week