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  • ^ takes things wayyyy too seriously^

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 3:06pm
  • Yeah, my penis is way tanner than the rest of me. Weird and awesome. Always makes the girl say "Wow, you got the best part of a black person." :D

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 2:43pm
  • 2:19 here. No, I'm not a man. I'm just a chick who enjoys fellating deserving men.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 3:35pm
  • Diamond encrusted cocks sound painful. Not to mention, I despise diamonds (yes, I know that's odd for a woman to say). Also, I'd prefer my man's apparatus to taste like coffee.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 2:08pm
  • 2:08 --> only because no man would ever give you one 2:11 --> you suck at living 4:25 --> marry me

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 5:47pm
  • 4:11 FTW...gotta love the nerdery.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 4:28pm
  • I sprinkle glitter on my penis. does that count?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 1:44pm
  • Yeah 253!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 3:09pm
  • ive seen this before... idk where though...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 1:26pm
  • 1:41(1) I'll dip mine in Mt. Dew all you want! Marry me. Gamer chick. Omgplx.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 12, 09 at 6:35pm
  • There's probably just more melatonin in that area or something. Everyone's privates are darker than the rest of them.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 11:32pm
  • mens dicks just need to look and taste exactly how we want them to. they don't get a say in this shit.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 4:25pm
  • hooray you've reached a stage 4 (at least) on the tanner scale of development

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:59pm
  • ....where do I get one of these more evolved penii?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 2:02pm
  • Finally. This is the most legit text I have read on this shitty site ever. P.S. why is your dick black? It looks like the thing from Dune.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 4:11pm
  • 2:08, I'm with you! I'm not a big chocolate fan. It needs to taste like a vanilla latte or something. Not all girls like chocolate, guys. The diamond thing is weird to me. How do you expect to get a blowjob when you have diamonds all over your dick? The diamonds will cut my mouth. Do you want a bloody blowjob?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 2:59pm
  • Man, that'd be awesome. I'd give blow jobs all the time if it tasted like chocolate...plus us girls would stay skinny....it's a win win situation if you ask me.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 1:52pm
  • i actually notice this too.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 1:40pm
  • THIS IS SO TRUE! my dick is tan!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 12, 09 at 2:22am
  • I really dont care about the diamonds, but if you can get em to taste like chocolate, i'm gonna have a new addiction!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 6:00pm
  • I have always wondered this. Well this and why someone's butt hole is darker than the rest of the person even though it gets the least amount of sun action. It throws me off watching a porn sometimes, especially if the color is way darker. Makes me think its a shit stain...lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 2:35pm
  • Maybe I'm too much of a gamer, but I want my guy's to taste like Mt. Dew. That would be fantastic.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 1:41pm
  • coffee flavored penii would be the best thing ever.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 3:42pm
  • and hopefully women will lose their voice boxes...but once again we can only hope

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 1:28pm
  • Um, yeah. don't be so proud. It's a harmless bacteria that lives in the soft skin, most often seen on eyelids, genitals, anus and armpits. Only real effect is the darkening and slight odor, but conceptually it's gross.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 6:38pm
  • dude! i was talking to my friend about this the other day. we both are like that too. hopefully it will start tasting like chocolate...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 2:08pm
  • if they tasted like chocolate fat women would try to eat them, and then guys wouldn't want to have fat women as partners, and the lazy fat genes would be washed out of the gene pool! awesome

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 1:31pm
  • Wow mine too. Although I never really thought about it before. I assumed its cause im always slapping the Sasuage.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 12:57pm
  • fucking unknown error bullshit!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:01pm
  • its tan because you masturbate...lol...I thought that was common knowledge

    Submitted by Vir89 on May 10, 10 at 10:49pm
  • mine is like this too, and ye its a little weird

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 1:42pm
  • I'd actually give head if it tasted like chocolate.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 2:11pm
  • chocolate, vanilla, mt dew I don't care what it tasts like I like to suck cock. :p

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 11:23am
  • Haha isn't everybodys dick tan??idk but mines crazy dark haha LOL @ diamond twilight referece

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 12, 09 at 9:56am
  • And this is how you know God is a man. If God were a woman dicks, and cum, would taste like chocolate. Or whatever we want it to taste like at the moment. But diamond encrusted? While I'm it'd be beautiful...ouch. That would cause a decrease in blow jobs.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 5:57pm
  • Haha, love the response. Impractical, perhaps, but still hilarious.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 3:18pm
  • 1:52 i will rub a hershey bar all over my cock, all the flavor none of the calories

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 2:02pm
  • I have the same condition, it baffles me because i cannot tan anywhwere else, just burn

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 1:53pm
  • YEAH my dick is tan too we should start a Tan Dicks Club

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 5:55pm
  • if your penis tasted like chocolate I'd definitely deep throat it... twice... every day!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 8:58pm
  • 2:19 is probably a man :p

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 3:30pm
  • girls like 2:19 are desperately seeking male attention.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 6:12pm
  • who. the hell. talks about this kind of stuff

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 1:28pm
  • Evolutionarily, this would be impossible, as adaptations made through evolution are those that allow a species to easier survive and reproduce. Assuming that a chocolate-diamond-dick were possible, it would decrease reproduction, as oral sex would become more common, rather than traditional intercourse. If these changes were to come about through a random mutation, it is unlikely that the change would sustain for long enough to become viable in the population.

    Submitted by jvroom on Feb 19, 12 at 1:35pm
  • god that would be amazing!!! not only would sucking dick whiten your teeth it would taste good too

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 7:53pm
  • As I feel I can speak for most women, we can only hope that happens for male evolution haha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 18, 09 at 4:29pm
  • 1:28, i know people who will say anythign...and i mean anything, no matter who is around them

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 1:31pm
  • 6:38, 11:16, 11:32 - mostly it is hormonal and perfectly normal, but there are lots of other potential causes, std, early sign of diabetes, bacteria, the list goes on. If it's musky instead of smelling like your usual sweat 6:38 may be right. Try an AntiBac soap for a few weeks.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 11:52pm
  • wait if it's a bacteria, can you lighten it by washing more often? i have dark armpits i hate it, looks like i have razor burn or like i didnt shave

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 1:53am
  • 6:38, seriously? I don't know whether to believe you or think you're full of shit...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 11:16pm
  • 2:08 for a minute there your comment mirrored my thoughts and I was like did I\nAlready post here then I realized I'm not anonymous. I fully agree with everything you stated.

    Submitted by janesaddiction on Nov 30, 10 at 9:32pm
  • DUDE! ME TOO!!! ... weird, right??? My ex actually named it "Mocha", cuz it's big and brown, and I'm big and white. : l

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 7:48pm
  • Diamond studded penii aside, 253 represent! Funny things is, I may know you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:10am
  • 12:23, thanks for sharing.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 13, 09 at 7:19am
  • 11:52, where did you learn that from? I assumed everyone was just naturally a little darker there. I smell just fine and so does my boyfriend, but we are just darker in that region... I'm also South Asian so maybe it's just my skin color, but my bf is white. Not saying you're wrong, but i have never heard that before.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 12:00am
  • 2:19 here. First, I am a woman, not a girl. Second, I don't need to "seek male attention" because I've been dating one man for the last 5 years, and we are engaged to be married.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 6:29pm
  • This isn't twilight chocolate tasting diamond studded penis's don't exist, and I don't see evolution leading us down that road sadly...things would certainly be easier

    Submitted by dodson on Apr 7, 10 at 10:55am
  • 1:28, apparently 253 does Represent!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 1:31pm
  • 1:53 - don't wash it too much. I'm not the person who said its bacteria, but washing any area of your body too much washes away your natural oils and defenses, which can cause other problems. I have a fungus on my skin because I washed that area of my skin too much. I have had several yeast infections because i clean my vag too much. So watch how much you clean :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 12:23pm
  • It's called usage stain....look at your women - happens to them too!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 13, 09 at 12:00am
  • lmao my dick is tan to but super pale funny how that works i agree with tanned penis club

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 10:04pm
  • 2:48 don't be such a prick. nobody likes a racist.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 6:11am
  • hahaha that would be AWSOMEBALLERDELICIOUS.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 8:46pm
  • chocolate tasting dicks sound really creepy and diamonds on them? meh..head can be unpleasant enough sometimes without diamonds cutting my mouth up thanks.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 5:46am
  • I give head because cock is tasty. More women need to loosen up and learn to be good, thorough lovers.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 2:19pm
  • 1:03 Lol. You wouldn't happen to be venezualan would you?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 20, 09 at 1:59am
  • dude same with my penis....its so weird only i pull it out is to put it in or pee. either way not much contact with light....but its twice as tan as me....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 12:17am
  • Venezuelan dicks taste like chocolate. No joke. Do the fieldwork.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 1:03am
  • why are our dicks tan? i never understood that at all...its like no matter how white and pasty i get, my dick looks like its been laying out i fuckin jamaica for a week

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 10:04pm
  • it's because the concentration of melanin is higher there, not bacteria

    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 27, 09 at 1:53am
  • Bacteria? shut the fuck up. Go watch some porn, peeping tom some dudes in the shower, everybody's dick is darker than the rest of them unless they're tan all over. Admittedly, I've only really looked at my own dick and the hours and hours of porn, but I can't recall ever seeing a single pale cock.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 12, 09 at 5:26pm