Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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