I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
