At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
