just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My breasts were aching with rage.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
