Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
