how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
