Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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