Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
