sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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