goodnight i made you a song goodbye
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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