I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
