she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Send us your Text From Last Night!
only you would photoshop your dick
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
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