Walk of Shame. In a state park.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize