I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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