i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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