Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
