fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
