dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
