did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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