she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
