I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
