Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
