You can't special order awesome
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
