I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
