Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
