look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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