My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
