i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize