Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
