I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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