Me. At least after what I've been through.
handjob tips. give me some.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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