You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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