doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
