she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
