your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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