That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
