her vagine was all disorganized.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
