I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
