I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
