And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
