we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Randomize
