she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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