Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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