if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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