respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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