what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
