I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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