The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
