he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
