i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
