the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
