forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
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