I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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