just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
