seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
