Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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