What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
