I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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