Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
