Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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