This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
