btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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